Generations
listen to the story
My mom to my left myself to my right my baby girl in my belly. Generations side by side. The greatest gift in my life, is having this life because of my mother. Thank you for the lonely nights of a single mother, the untold stories of sacrifice, the pain you went through, and the moments of joy in the roller coaster of this thing called life. Now having to go through another Mother’s Day with the grief of not having your mother to protect you and listen. I see you. I love and I thank you. Now for me looming in my third trimester is the responsibility of becoming a mother. The perfect mother is a phantom and I give up the need to live up to it. I’m going to make mistakes, feel guilty, cry, smile, learn along the way, there will be a lot of tears, there will be heart-opening moments of laughter, there will be moments of deep loneliness, sleepless nights, deep moments of awe, deep truths revealed of my humanness, love will unfold, and I will go in eyes wide open further into my human experience. I'm not going to post every moment or pretending that it is easy. It won't be. My heart goes out to the motherless, the fatherless, the mothers/they/them/ze who didn't conceive, step moms, the couples trying for years, the widowed, challenging mother dynamics, the mother wound, the people that didn't want children, the silent battles unimaginable, the untold stories of the babies that have been lost, the struggles untold by the hearts of millions, mother in-law dynamics, adopted children, orphans praying for parents, anyone I missed, and living with the grief of losing a child. I can't even imagine the depth of pain experienced. I acknowledge the struggle and the story told and untold. I am with you, and I love you. You are a mother to me, in all you have been through, and all that you have cared for I see you. I am with you. Thank you for your fierce protection and love in all forms.
Repeat After Me:
I hereby call all parts of myself as lovable and likable. I kiss the forehead of my shadow, insecurities, and shame. I acknowledge that all parts make the whole. I acknowledge every flaw as perfection. I grow grounded in who I am now, not what I was or what I will become. I acknowledge my present, my past, and future. I see now that things can shift overnight with love and reverence. I acknowledge the blessings of my life as much as I acknowledge the sufferings. Everything changes and I welcome it all with dynamic faith in the unknown.
